That Fairy Tale Challenge
"You are a child of the Universe,
no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the Universe is unfolding as it should."~ Max Ehrmann/ Desiderata: A Poem for a Way of Life"
We visited a theme park last weekend. It so happened that they just had their "Fairy Tale Challenge" that same weekend. They had the "Princess Enchanted 10K" and the "Princess Half Marathon". So we were walking all over the park with a lot of people brandishing their running shirts and their well-deserved medals.
Image by A.M Evans ©
I used to run once, but because of health issues, I resorted to yoga, cardio, and circuit exercises, that is, if my healing body is able. But that entire time at the park, every time I see those shirts and medals, I had this feeling of pang and jealousy.
Trying to heal from my physical condition, I also guard my mental health, especially in social media. I try not to unfollow, but I scroll fast through plenty of friends brandishing their medals and "Oh, I made it through, yay me" posts. Please don't get me wrong. I am happy for them. But those posts also remind me of the life I once had and the physical health I am slowly trying to regain. And going through those posts just makes my self-esteem and feelings of worthiness go into a deep dive. This is when I say "It's not you. It's me."
I finished a 30-minute beginner's yoga. I got into the elliptical and made it through 10 minutes before my neuralgia sets in. I did the laundry and made lunch for myself. I was up and down the stairs about 20 times today. Yay me!! Small, realistic goals.
To my running friends: Please know that I sincerely applaud you and celebrate you. I know the health benefits of running. If only I could, I would. I did once-- before my disabling illness took over. But please don't get offended if I don't "like" your posts. This is me exposing my vulnerabilities. That feeling of self-worth or the lack of it drains the heck out of me.
I post a lot on social media but I usually avoid and scroll through those posts. Do you know you can prioritize who and what pages you want to see first on Facebook? So that's what I do. Because I needed words of encouragement first thing. I needed words that resonate with what I am currently going through. I needed that sense of "I-am-not-alone". I needed my feelings validated.
I may not be worth that Princess or whatever running medal, but I know I am worth something. I have lots to offer in spite of my inability to keep pace with my runner friends.
I have this. My writings. My thoughts in words reaching the far ends of the earth.
As you read through these lines, know that you are not alone. Know that you are enough-- more than enough; even if the only thing that you did today was to pray and breathe. That prayer that you just did? That breathing exercise and meditation that you just finished? Those send energy and vibes into this world depleted of feelings of worthiness.
Keep on moving at your own pace.
Keep on praying.
Keep on breathing.
Keep on affirming your self-worth.
Pride yourself for each day's accomplishments, no matter how small you perceive them to be.
That is what the world needs and you are too valuable to keep everything in balance.
Know that you are loved. You are whole. You are enough.
You are being supported by Divine guidance (or whatever you perceive it/them to be).
Keep on believing in yourself no matter how the world shows you what "worthiness" means.
Blessings to you, my friends, runners or not. We are all worthy of the abundant grace the Universe has to offer.
Peace up!
P.S. By the way, I am not a Princess. I am a WARRIOR. And so are you.
Image by Artem Beliaikin via Pexels.com
***Post originally published on 02/25/2020 by the author at lifescapesinbloom.wordpress.com
