As I leave a relationship that is no longer in alignment with who I truly am, I see myself standing in my own power as I speak my truth without seeking anybody’s approval nor validation. I see myself living a healthy lifestyle—mind, body, and soul as I listen to my intuition. I am protecting my energy as the lost broken fragments of me come HOME to my True Self.

Our family is far from perfect.  I am not a perfect wife nor a perfect mom. I have a lot of shortcomings and weaknesses. Although I always brag about my kids, they also have their faults and foibles.  But if there is one thing that we all have, it’s FAMILY—our home, our touch base, our cornerstone, our constant. We draw from each other’s strengths. We live from each other’s love. We grow from each other’s spirit.

As I paddled on the lake this Christmas afternoon, I did not fail to notice:

The beautiful sound of chimes coming from one of the lake houses

My daughter’s spirit as she fearlessly paddled alone to the other end of the lake

The sunlight hitting the waters

The sun on my face

The cool breeze on my face

The squawk of an osprey nesting on the tree

The sound of the water lapping with the strong currents

And then peace in the middle of nowhere…

They are old souls, I'm sure of that— teaching me how to navigate through life's circumstances and complexities. Everyday I’m proud of their kindness, their efforts, their hearts—and for that, I AM TRULY BLESSED.

With every step I take I see you there warmly embracing the change.

You show me how to live life fully.

You teach me things I never knew.

Your insights inspire me to walk on my journey with you.

Unconditional love goes beyond all words,

even perceived limitations,

and is felt in the heart.

This is my own understanding…

…of unconditional love.

To guide and support. That’s all we could do as they go through their own successes and wins..loss and defeats, and with how they are coping with the bigger issues the world has put on our shoulders. On our children’s shoulders.

It’s exhausting. It’s tiring. It’s mind-numbing. I need to stay in the moment. I have to find the good. In the present. I need to live a life where I can be here and now. Not blaming the past. Not feeling anxious about what the future holds. Here and now…

Find me.

You recognize my presence but do you heed my being?

I feel the warmth of love and the chill of restraint.

You surround me with safety yet I feel the release of love in abandon.

Sometimes, there's only so much you can handle that you begin drawing lines from other people, close friends included. Saying "NO" and "I have given enough" is sometimes imperative in keeping yourself sane. I believe that's what a healthy boundary is. You protect yourself and your loved ones from further damage.

If I could heal then, I could heal now. It will take a lot of work on my part—forgiveness, self-care, self-love. Journaling. Keep on writing. Poetry. Keep. On.  Writing. Because in the future, when I look back, I'm pretty certain I will repeat these words, "I survived this. It's safe. You're safe. Let go."

Last night was the last straw. I felt the need to distance myself. I need honest and straightforward people. I am tired of sorting out people in my life.

My favorite time of the year was summertime when we go to the rural province to her old two-story wooden home. How I loved that home! Surrounded by big trees and bamboos, it reminds me of otherworldly-creature stories and legends she used to tell. The stairs and the balcony where we would lay down and watch the tree branches and leaves sway, singing with my aunt, or listening to my grandma tell more stories.

No need to rush for things that are bound to happen.  It will happen in the right place, at the right time, and with the right intentions….

For now, I just need to focus on my new path with bigger visions and much bigger intentions…

This is my path now.  The one I need to give my time and focus on. With ease and very little pressure.

When you’re drowning in water, first you try to struggle. Then you get tired of the struggle and your body just let go. You let it sink. Then my mind quieted down with just one sentence. “The world will keep on going without me.”

“The success of every woman should be the inspiration to another. We should raise each other up. Make sure you’re very courageous: be strong, be extremely kind, and above all be humble.” — Serena Williams