Today, I Played the Piano
My Path to Healing
Image by shutterstock at shutterstock.com
After more than a decade long, I finally touched the piano today. It’s always been the kids, mostly my son who plays the piano.
I had piano lessons as a kid. Forgot everything, and relearned in my early adult years. Then life happened. Work, marriage, family, more work, piano lessons, sports, more work, the teenage years and the dramas, then one went off to college, and then the other followed. And now there’s just us—my husband and I.
Sitting on that piano bench, I was hoping that I have spent enough time with my family and our music together, wishing I could spend more time with them.
I miss those moments. I miss my kids. (There, I said it!)
I miss my son playing the piano or his guitar. I remember the time I was waiting for a flight home from a work trip on Valentine’s evening when my husband and the kids called me with my son playing my favorite– Pachelbel’s Canon in D. I remember when my son serenaded me with “Bubbly” by Colbie Caillat with his guitar. I remember my daughter showing the chords to her middle school BFF when she barely knew how to play. I remember the family playing the djembe drums around the fire outside our mountain cabin. Playing the harp by the fireplace. The sound of my kids laughing– that, too, was music.
As I touched the piano keys, memories come pouring in. I closed my eyes and felt for the keys and how my fingers fit into them. My hands were tensed.
Breathe. Relax your wrist and let those fingers feel. Repeat.
Then I started playing. Simple exercises. I then took a playbook from the bench and started playing. Simple ones. Ode to Joy. That’s easy. I keep missing chords. Lack of practice. But I tried for at least an hour. This perfectionist would not give up until I finish one before I get to another music. But I was struggling with the chords. Lack of practice, perhaps?
Then I closed my eyes again. Breathing. Fingers on the keys. No music. Just the memories. The kids. The instruments. The family together by the fireplace next to the piano. One long deep breath. And then a sigh. Then a drop of tear.
In my moment of loneliness, part of me wishes the kids back. Another part of me is happy and proud of what they have accomplished. But a big chunk of me wants the music back.
Pachelbel’s Canon in D. My next project. I will re-learn. And then call my kids while I play the music.
“Music gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything.” ~ Plato
As much as I wanted that past life back, I know that music shaped my kids into what they are now. And that! That’s what makes life worthwhile. That’s what breathes life to my tired body, mind, and soul…
…and so I heal.
Breathe. Relax your wrist. Feel for the keys. Then let the music give solace to your soul.
Peace.
Image by shutterstock at shutterstock.com
This post was originally published by the author at WordPress on January 21, 2020 at https://lifescapesinbloom.wordpress.com/2020/01/31/today-i-played-the-piano/
