Spirit Award
Both of my kids were exceptional athletes. My son was a star student and a 3rd-degree black belt in TaeKwonDo when he started at the young age of 5, while my daughter began gymnastics at a very young age and started competing with her team under USAG, went into diving, then tracks, back to gymnastics, cheerleading, then back to diving. They almost always go home with medals or trophies—until they started college where they both continued to receive multiple honors and scholarships for their great academic performance. Their rooms are still decorated with all the medals and trophies they have won through the years.
Those drive, passion, confidence, competitive spirit—they got that from their mom. I had my share of accolades and titles in my career life.
Then there were those Spirit Awards. In theory, Spirit Awards are given to those kids who demonstrated the Spirit of teamwork and team spirit. But in truth, those are consolation prizes— for those who didn’t quite make it. My kids had very few of those. “Nice try! Maybe next time.”
Image by Garsya via shutterstock
I have had my share of my Spirit Award, which this competitive spirit used as a motivation to get the job done better, make the productivity, and work harder to succeed.
I was reminded of my accolades and Spirit Awards this weekend. As I attended the sessions on my profession’s Spring Conference, thoughts like “that could have been me”, “I could have been the one doing this”, and “that’s what I used to do” completely engulfed my mind. I can still go back to where I was. Start all over again. I’ve been doing this for 30+ years. I can do this with my eyes closed. I know this like the back of my hands. It’s just like riding a bike. These thoughts made me question why I drifted away from a career where I was flourishing.
However, this past week that left me exhausted and hollowed out also made me realize why I left a career that I have so loved, but in the process, has left me battered, bruised, and still in the process of healing. Please don’t get me wrong. It’s not that my career was bad. In fact, it was an honorable profession. But 30+ years has taken its toll on me—mind, body, and spirit. A couple of surgeries and bouts of illnesses made me re-think my career and renewed my life purpose. As I write this, every time I think of going back, I feel my body react instantaneously.
New intentions, new goals, new path.
I’m on my new path now. A path where I have no idea where it would take me. A path where my Spirit Awards are “likes” and “comments” on social media and my accolades were my number of followers. And that’s okay. I got the” team-of-one” teamwork and team spirit. Yay, me!
Yet, I’ve got this unsettling feeling of “I could have been <doing this> by now.”
I closed my eyes to quiet my racing mind. Then did a Vinyasa Lakshmi flow yoga.
“What am I ready to let go of? What am I ready to accept into my Life? Into this Breath?”
I let the tears come out as I flow through my asanas (poses). Open up, Anna. Just open up. Let go of what was and make room for what it is you want to manifest in your life.
Image by David Ananda via shutterstock
Honestly, I haven’t the faintest idea where this new path will lead me. But I know that the Universe is on my side, ready to guide me and support me. I just have to learn to let go of what was and embrace what IS.
SPIRIT AWARD: Teamwork— My mind, body, and soul have to be aligned with my real life’s purpose. Team-spirit— the energy I have to put out into the world to make my life’s work come to full fruition. That’s the work I needed to do. Give it a try!
This time, you’ll make it.
“It’s impossible,” said pride. “It’s risky,” said experience. “It’s pointless,” said reason. “Give it a try,” said the heart. ~ Anonymous
