Focus On Your Love
Finding the Calm In the Chaos
TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide, Suicidal ideation, Mental Illness, Mental Issues
Image by Izabela Mierzejewski via Unsplash
I am still healing. It has been an uphill battle. The reality is it will probably stay an uphill battle for a while.
I am still healing. If you can look into my mind, you can see utter chaos. Anxiety. Fear. In my heart, you will find how it keeps on breaking over and over again.
This time I couldn’t choose my battle. The battle came to me. I am stuck. I am bound. I cannot find my way out of this chaos. I am tired. I am exhausted. Yet the storm keeps coming. I try to hold on for hope after the storm. I know a sliver of light will show itself.
So I stay here. Taking a day at a time. A moment a time. One painful blow at a time. I’m here in the midst of chaos not knowing where the next strike will come.
The blows keep on coming unceasingly. Groping, In this pit, they call rock bottom, I couldn’t find my handholds and footholds. There’s nothing to do but wait in silence.
Breathe. Be still. Find stillness. Find your calm. Find the peace in the midst of the chaos that threw you down in a hole, that you don’t know how to get out from.
Focus on your LOVE. It is stronger than anything that is dragging you down. But first, be still and find your calm. It is there amidst the chaos. You just have to stop and be still.
Focus on your LOVE. That one unique Love that only you can give. To the ones most important to you. That love is your sliver of light. That love will be the outgrowth, an offshoot that you can cling on to haul yourself up.
It will be a long way up. But you are slowly moving up. You are, even if you don’t feel like it. When you hit rock bottom, there’s no way but up. But how to do it? Lie await? Linger? Sit tight?
There’s still a hint of hope. That sliver of light. Hold onto that. Use it to unbind you.
You’re going to make it. Your intentions are pure. Your focus is clear no matter how bleak the setting you are in now. Focus on your Love and then hold on to it. That is your calm amidst your chaos. Keep on holding. Keep on keeping on. Keep on loving. Keep on focusing on love.
No matter how bleak and cold where you are, your love will conquer it all.
You are learning. You will slowly be hauling yourself up. Small steps. Climb up. Slowly. Unafraid. You are divinely supported and protected.
Breathe. You will get there. You are resilient. You are tough. You will make it through. But you have to keep focusing on your love to find your calm amidst the chaos.
Image by TheBigMK via Shutterstock
The National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-8255.
Or Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a Crisis Counselor on Crisis Text Line.
