The Season Of My Soul
Image by HighBabe via Unsplash
Autumn is my favorite season. Even if I live in the south where autumn is not as physically recognizable as compared to what’s north of us, I still discern the changes in everything around me. It’s more than the smell and the sight of the change in colors. It’s a feeling of what has come and of what is yet to be.
“Notice that autumn is more the season of the soul than of nature.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
It’s a time when I can’t help but slow down and reflect on what my Soul has gone through. Thoughts and feelings come not in bursts, but gently as the fog and mists hover over the fallen dried leaves. Yet they linger, waiting for me to heal…to let go.
Its cool gentle embrace awakes me, as I softly open my eyes and my heart beating slower than how it’s been. The brain fog inhabits my mind, but I move slowly, and pensively. No hastening. Just the unhurried passage of things gone by.
“Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the autumn tree.” ~ Emily Brontë
My heart feels lighter—easier to forgive. Easier on myself. Just like a gentle breeze passing by and with the kindest intentions, you let it all float along. The summer’s woe that seemed to mock me turned into a rapture of thoughts and feelings that speaks only of inspiration. The promise of a buoyant day of drifting dreams and steady passage towards my soul’s journey.
I find myself in this terrain where everything seems paced. My life moves slower, as I gently let go of what no longer serves me, leave them behind me, and pause in gratitude for what awaits.
It doesn’t mean that past pains don’t bother me anymore. It’s just that I see them in a different light. Thoughts still prevail and can often get overwhelming, but this time, I get to choose what is good for my Soul, even if it feels entirely different from how I would usually respond—a gift of the season to my Soul.
As an empath and an HSP (highly sensitive person), I feel deeply and connect with energies instantly—something I must guard and protect. But this time, I am giving myself permission to feel, no matter how deep it takes me. I now know what I allow into my life as I practice self-love and self-compassion.
I have also made my circle smaller—so I can give better to those I care about and share myself more authentically with those who care for my well-being. This season, I am more appreciative of the small things—the little things that people around me do as I move forward. I have resolved not to be influenced by what other people think nor what society demands. I owe myself this.
This season will be different from the last, and the ones before that. This season is the time to change. I get to choose the steps I take, no matter how slow. I get to choose my pace. I get to choose whom I take along. I get to choose me.
Just as the autumn leaves float by the stream of water brought on by the afternoon thunderstorm that prevailed from past seasons, I begin my trail towards change—towards the good that awaits me and the growth that has been gifted me. I float, never again to stay for anything nor anyone because it feels comfortable. I float as I carry along the strength and the power that I have taken back as the seasons change.
Just like the autumn leaves, I change, I let go, and I move on. This is the soul of my season. This is the season of my Soul.
Image by crime via Shutterstock
“And all the lives we ever lived and all the lives to be are full of trees and changing leaves.” ~ Virginia Woolf, To the Lighthouse
