Listening to My Body
Self-care and Self-Love
"Listen to your body. You will be amazed to discover that, if you are kind to your body, it will respond in an incredible way." ~ Vanda Scaravelli
My body and I have this love-hate relationship. Currently, I am wanting to scream “Heal already!” You must have heard people say, “Listen to your body.” Been there, done that, or so I thought. And yet bouts of illness keep on coming.
Last night, as I go to bed, exhausted from side-effects of a new medication, and still suffering from this new illness. I decided to have a conversation with my body– more like writing a why-letter to my body. So here it goes…
Dear Body,
I am so-so tired. I am exhausted. I don’t know how far I can take this but I keep on fighting.
They keep on telling me to listen to you. I think I’ve listened enough. I just want you to STOP.
Stop the pain.
Stop the pressure
Stop the gut-wrench.
Stop being nauseous.
Stop the brain fogs.
Just STOP and listen to all the affirmations I keep on repeating in my head.
I try to be healthy. What else can I do?
I feel hopeless. I feel like I’m a burden. I don’t feel free. You are keeping me from doing what I love to do. You are keeping me from spending quality time with my family.
So, please, I just want all these to STOP.
Dear ME,
Yes, you are tired. You are beyond exhausted. I know you feel like a train wreck when you wake up. I know the first thought you have when you wake up: “What now?”
I hear the affirmations but do you actually listen?
Do you really listen to what I am trying to say?
Are you really trying to take care of yourself?
Then why do you feel guilty when you oversleep? Why do you feel guilty when you sleep the whole day? Why don’t you stop watching the television or browsing through social media when your eyes are droopingly asking for sleep. YOU NEED YOUR SLEEP. Please, listen. You do not have to be productive. Forget the house chores. Just rest and get enough sleep.
YOU NEED TO REST. I know you have been trying to do that for half a year now. But more than four decades of trauma to your mind and body cannot be healed overnight. You do not need a miracle. You already are. You just need to rest.
STOP COMPARING. Here’s my challenge to you. Stop looking at social media posts that make you think you are less than. So what if they could run a marathon? So what if they have made a 6-figure just by freelancing within 3 months? So what if they’ve been traveling all over the world and you are left in your bed trying to heal? You are already abundant. You are so blessed with a beautiful family. You are blessed with wonderful friends. I know you are competitive. But you are special and unique in your own way. You are enough. You are more than enough. You have more than enough. Be kind to yourself.
STOP COMPETING. Just do whatever you can tolerate at a time. Remember when you planned to leave a career to start a new one? Then start afresh without having the need to be perfect.
CELEBRATE VICTORIES, NO MATTER HOW SMALL. You walked a mile for 30 minutes. You made it through shower without fainting. You went up and down the stairs several times without falling. Yay, me!
BE KIND TO YOUR BODY. Practice self-compassion. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Forgive others for “not getting it”. Forgive yourself for your doubts, your frustrations, your inability to do things. Forgive yourself for not being there for your family. You are healing. You get that Pass Go card.
WE ARE DETOXIFYING. That nausea? Those dry heaves? They’re there for a reason. Learn what is and what is not good for your body. I am working with you on this. You can feel it when I am trying to get rid of everything that your body does not need.
SAVE YOUR ENERGY. Do not stress yourself with having to do physical work. It’s not what you need right now. Lots of solitude and calm is what I’m asking. Yes, you still need your friends. Learn to surround yourself with souls that have your best interest in mind. You need them. You know them. Keep on saving the energy, coming and going. Protect yourself but honor the things that make you feel alive and good inside.
THAT 4-DECADES WORTH OF TRAUMA. You have accumulated a lot of habits, coping mechanisms, and behaviors. You cannot get rid of all the tension and the pressure overnight. Give yourself some time. Be kind to yourself. I know life has been throwing punches at you. Maybe they’re not punches. Maybe all the trauma from the past years is starting to peel off. One by one. Yes, they feel like punches. But trust the process. Trust that everything is happening for your own good.
FEEL THE EARTH. Let it ground you. Soak up the sun. Let the cool breeze touch your face. Listen to the sound of the leaves from the oak tree next to your bedroom patio. Learn to love the sound of the rain again. Learn to enjoy the sleep and rest as you listen to the sound of the rain and the thunder from afar. Someday, you will dance in the rain again. I promise.
REMEMBER DIVINE ORDER. I know you don’t want to hear these words: Everything happens for a reason. Just know that you are divinely blessed. You. The real you is healthy and whole. Yes, you are being guided to your highest good. It’s painful. It’s numbing. It’s dizzying. But keep on trusting. I know you feel them– your spiritual guides? I like it when you smile when you “see a message” from beyond the physical realm.
REST, my dear one. Learn how to stop everything that you needed to do and just let your body heal. Give it time. Learn to listen in the silence. You will find peace there.
Let’s do this together.
“Just where you are—that’s the place to start.” —Pema Chodron
Be well.
Photo by Alina Vilchenko on Pexels.com
"To listen to your body and respect how it feels is a powerful act of self-love." ~ Sonia Choquette
