I needed to stay here for a while. It is where I can step back and allow the thoughts to rush in. I just let them pass by. The pain feels comfortable or maybe I was so numb that I don’t even feel the pain. Certain realizations that should have left my heart broken, but it didn’t. My heart was sheltered. By walls I put up. Barriers. When did I learn to do that? How did I learn to do that? 

I look forward to the future. I look forward to the day where happiness no longer hides behind the mask of pain. I look forward to the day where mental health isn't stigmatized, but instead, openly talked about. I look forward to the day where people can be proud of themselves for living. I look forward to the day where everyone loves themselves regardless of flaws or imperfections. I hope I get to live long enough to find a world that looks like this. But for now, I’m simply happy to be alive.