"Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?" ~ Danielle LaPorte

And so a new chapter begins! I still carry the weight of yesteryears.  I still have battle scars.  And still, the wounds remain and they keep coming.  How do I stop it? Where do I begin?

I'm just really tired right now, mind, body, and soul. Like this tattered raft.  Like a threadbare cloth. I just need to dock.  I just need to hang.  I just need to REMEMBER. Who was I? What do I really want? What was my Soul seeking?

It's not a matter of finding myself, I think.  I'm not a dollar bill found in my pant's pocket during laundry. I really don't think I'm lost. My true Self is right here, somewhere underneath other people's opinions, beliefs, and influences.  Sheltered under cultural conditioning but needed to be uncovered. So FINDING MYSELF is merely unearthing-- RE-DISCOVERING and REMEMBERING my true Self.

Docking with that tattered raft is my way of stopping and re-navigating.  But yet I have to unearth that true traveler, unlearn quite a few beliefs, and remember who I truly was before the world imposed and grabbed me on both arms and feet, and dragged me underneath the surface where I am in now.

Deep breathes, Anna.  You are not lost. You just have to REMEMBER. You just need to UNLEARN. Rest. Relax.  Meditate. Breathe. Repeat.  YOU WILL RESURFACE. YOU WILL RE-DISCOVER. YOU WILL REMEMBER. Don't fight the marsh that bogged you down. 

And don't forget to remove the grime and the rust off your boat. Yes, you brought that unwanted muck along with your travels. THEY'RE NOT YOURS. Those were things thrown at you that made you forget who you really were. You accumulated them and made them yours. Unblemish them. They don't serve you any purpose anymore.

Just let things happen. It will come back to you.  YOU WILL COME BACK TO YOU. Just slowly peel off the mud. IT WILL TAKE TIME BUT IT WILL BE WORTH IT. Then dust yourself off and chart your new course.

***Originally published 09/18/2019