A Poem

Find me.

You are always close to me yet so far.

You fill me with joy yet my heart aches in longing.

You always make me smile but underneath, profound sadness.

You hear my soul but you are unaware of my heart.

Find me.

You recognize my presence but do you heed my being?

I feel the warmth of love and the chill of restraint.

You surround me with safety yet I feel the release of love in abandon.

This seems so wrong, yet so right;

So beautiful, yet so frightful;

So full of dreams, but mingled with illusions.

I want to hold you close but do I dare let you go?

I want to let you go but would you rather hold me close?

My heart aches.

My soul yearns.

My mind… my mind has given up.

We share one sky, one universe, one lifetime.

This lifetime, amongst other lifetimes, I ask you to find me.

I ask you to recognize me.

I need you to know me.

Why does something so wrong feels so right?

Why does something so hurtful fills my heart with love?

Yet…

I release and let you go…

And still, I remain…

This poem was penned many, many years ago and was found in one of my journals.